


Duty of Care

by Karios



Category: The Good Place (TV)
Genre: Families of Choice, Fluff and Angst, Good Place Torture Attempt, Multi, Purposeful Yet Poorly Thought Through Baby Acquistion, Season/Series 01
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-13
Updated: 2020-01-13
Packaged: 2021-02-27 08:22:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,743
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22233970
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Karios/pseuds/Karios
Summary: This version of the neighborhood adds a new form of torture: a crying baby. Like every other attempt, it only brings the humans closer together.
Relationships: Tahani Al-Jamil/Chidi Anagonye/Jianyu Li | Jason Mendoza/Eleanor Shellstrop
Comments: 12
Kudos: 79
Collections: Holly Poly 2019





	Duty of Care

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Meatball42](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Meatball42/gifts).



> who prompted possible pregnancy and/or kidfic and I split the difference and went "babies!"
> 
> I had so much fun with this fic and I hope you do too!
> 
> Many thanks to phnelt for not only betaing but talking me through plotholes.

They’d been settled into The Good Place for a few months when Michael gathered the neighborhood for another big announcement. Eleanor and Jason and Tahani had been studying ethics with Chidi for a bit now; therefore, Eleanor had every intention of pretending to be interested in whatever they'd been dragged here for.

Michael announced, “Our neighborhood has been selected for an exclusive program that involves welcoming special new residents.”

He clicked to the next slide. It was filled with pictures of smiling bundled infants. “That's right: babies!” Michael did a ta-dah wave with his arms, like a low-budget party magician. He went on to explain, “I know some of you were disappointed to discover that weren't to be any children in this neighborhood. Neighborhoods tend to be age-segregated, and group together the recently deceased from roughly the same time period on Earth so as to ensure you'll bond over shared...”

Eleanor tuned out, as she remembered this from the welcome video. Well, more accurately, she remembered this part from Chidi's notes on the welcome video that she'd read hastily when she discovered she actually needed to know some of that stuff. Honestly, she hadn't cared whether there'd be kids in the neighborhood or not. She had wanted to know if she could get pregnant in The Good Place since she expected there to be a _lot_ of forking. What else was paradise for?

Apparently paradise was for humanitarians who led dumb good person lives full of selfless acts, and ethics lessons from books written by boring old dead guys, and an inexplicable amount of restaurants with menus that prominently featured corn.

So, there was a disappointing lack of forking. Not that her soulmate wasn't willing. Jason was down, but they were trying to fit in with the neighborhood. Well Eleanor was trying; Jason didn't seem to realize the utter peril both of them were in.

Eleanor moved to sit up straight again, only to figure out she must have been zoned out for a while because some of her neighbors were up on stage accepting the first of the wriggling bundles. She leaned over to nudge Chidi. “Look at these dorks. Who wants to spend their afterlife doing more work?”

“You mean like my teaching you ethics?” Chidi retorted and Eleanor smiled at the clapback.

However it's Tahani, Chidi’s soulmate, who replied: “But you like teaching ethics, darling. Babies smell, and make messes, and cry.”

Chidi slumped. “I guess it would be a lot of work,” he said though between his tone and wistful look he was giving those up on stage, Eleanor knew it was bullshirt.

So when the assembly broke up, Eleanor told Jason and Tahani to go on ahead to Chidi's and hung back to prod Chidi a little. “If you want one of the little poop-and-drool factories, go ahead, man.”

“I couldn't. You heard Tahani. And seeding a yet-to-be-born human with good points from our interactions sounds like a lot of pressure.”

Eleanor nodded as though she'd actually heard that objective. “Come on, bud. Look, you're already teaching me and Jason and Tahani how to be good. It's just adding one more student to the class.”

“Or, or I could doom a tiny baby before his or her or their little life even begins!” Chidi made a face. “My stomach hurts.”

“Wait, stop.” She reached out, set a hand on his shoulder. “Without thinking about any of that, what made you want to sign up in the first place?”

Chidi took a deep breath and let it out slowly. He cast an apologetic look at Eleanor as he said, “My parents were really great, and I'd always thought I'd get married and start a family and be like them. But then I apparently died without doing any of that, and I just thought that this was my chance. But you and Tahani are right, this is a bad idea.” Chidi turned to give the remaining babies one last longing look before he headed off to catch up with their friends.

It was the look that had Eleanor marching up the center aisle to ask Michael, “Can I take this one?” She gestured to a chubby-cheeked baby with medium tan skin and a handful of dark curls atop her head, gumming on one of her own fingers.

“You want a baby?” Michael boggled at Eleanor for a moment before blinking. “I mean, sure.” He smiled toothily. “She's all yours.”

“Jianyu's idea,” Eleanor replied, gesturing vaguely, hoping Michael would interpret that for her.

“Of course,” Michael said, another strange look on his face, but he handed the baby over.

Eleanor nearly wished he hadn't. I mean, yeah, Chidi was saving her and Jason from eternal torture, and she had wanted to do him a favor, but did that favor have to scream her tiny little lungs out all the way home? Eleanor ended up carrying her new bundle of misery at arms length, her hands cupped firmly under the baby's tiny armpits, just to preserve her eardrums from further sonic torture.

“I got you a baby,” Eleanor called out, as she made her way through the front door of the mansion. The volume of the cries was infinitely louder in Chidi and Tahani's cavernous foyer. “She's kind of loud. I'm not sure what I'm doing wrong.”

The others came running. “You got me a baby,” Chidi said in that same strained tone he used when Eleanor missed the point he was making.

Tahani edged closer to Chidi. “She got us a baby,” Tahani corrected, which just made Eleanor defensive.

“I did not get you a baby, you don't even want one!”

Jason, meanwhile, had ignored the bickering and stepped up to Eleanor and the squalling infant. “She's crying because you're holding her wrong.”

“Jason, no!” The other three of them cried in unison imagining the worst as Jason reached for the baby. Instead, he tucked the baby carefully into his arms, rocking her gently as the tears slowed and then stopped all together.

“I got you, little homie.” Jason smiled down at the baby, cradling her against his chest and drying her tiny face with the sleeve of his monk's robe.

It was kinda hot, and from the look on Tahani's face, she agreed. “So apparently Jason is some kind of baby whisperer, who knew.”

Eleanor shrugged. It was far from the weirdest thing about Jason. “Better for me.”

She did ask him about it later as they dealt with a particularly rank diaper. His explanation included the phrases "swamp sleepover" and "Jacksonville Zoo" and "Pillboi works with old folks, yo". None of it exactly answered her question, but was enough information that they could trust him on this.

After one very distracted ethics lesson Eleanor realized that leaving the baby here with just Chidi and Tahani was unlikely to work well. Chidi adored her but he was still making a bit of a constipated face every time he stopped to think. Tahani had yet to even hold the baby.

On the other hand, it wasn't as if Eleanor wanted to watch her at their place every night, Jason would have to sleep sometimes. While she didn't mind helping out with supervision, being alone with something small and helpless that was depending on her was definitely a no-go.

“Maybe Jason and I could spend the night?” Eleanor suggested, as some kind of truce. “Just until you get her settled.”

Tahani sprung up, clearly pleased to have something to do that played to her strengths, as her beaming grin returned. “Splendid. I'll prepare a guest room!”

Jason pumped a fist in the air. “And then we can throw a dope baby room together!”

The nursery decorations were a little piece of all of them. Jason asked for a teal-and-gold color scheme in the walls and fabrics. Chidi requested philosophy pull quotes stenciled on the drawers and wraparound bookshelves. Tahani decided a tour of art history would decorate the remaining walls.

“There's nothing of you in here yet,” Chidi said, and leave it to her favorite nerd to notice.

“I’m on it. Janet!” Eleanor called and took a breath to steady herself.

Janet appeared. “Yes, Eleanor?”

“Can I get one of those holders for multiple toothbrushes?”

“Of course.” With a ding, one appeared on Janet's outstretched palm. “Here you go. Cool nursery.”

Eleanor snatched up the holder, and blinked rapidly. “Thanks, Janet. Bye now, Janet,” she said.

“You're welcome. Bye!” Janet waved and blinked away, and Eleanor set the holder on an empty shelf.

No one asked, but later there were toothbrushes in everyone's hole. So she was pretty sure they got it. She was admiring the nursery when Jason called the group back together in a space with some couches that Tahani claimed was a drawing room, despite the lack of any visible drawing supplies.

“Yo, Eleanor can you hold the little homie for me?” Jason asked.

Eleanor accepted her, settling them together on one of the couches.

Chidi wheeled in a whiteboard and took a seat between Eleanor and Tahani. “Jason, the floor is yours.”

He looked a bit Jianyu-like as he nodded. “I'm happy we're gonna take care of this baby together, but she needs a name.”

Everyone waited for a few moments following the declaration until the baby started to fuss. “Jason, was that it, buddy?” Eleanor asked.

"It's important!" Jason stressed. "I've had to not answer to not Jason and not Jianyu and it's confusing. We can't have Chidi calling her Socrates and Tahani calling her Chanel or something."

Eleanor started to laugh but it was cut short when Jason added, “Eleanor, you'd probably just call her Eleanor. We _need_ a plan!”

“I agree, not that I'd name a baby girl, Socrates. Kant maybe,” Chidi said with a pointed look at Jason, then shook himself. “Our baby does need a name.”

Jason rose his hand.

“Not Blake,” Chidi said gently.

“Or Bortles,” Both women added.

“Aww,” Jason said.

“Any other ideas?” Chidi asked.

It took four hours, a stack of naming books that reached the ceiling and a full box of whiteboard markers, but somehow they all settled on Ijemma.

Chidi was the only one with strong cultural ties so it made sense that they'd ended combing through names from his part of the world, but it was the meaning that sealed it.

“A good journey,” Chidi read.

“Our promise to her, here in The Good Place and beyond,” Tahani proclaimed.

Jason smiled at Ijemma. “I think she likes it.”

Then they agreed it was past bedtime for all five of them. As they split off, Eleanor pulled Tahani aside in the courtyard, because of course the stupid mansion had a courtyard.

“You're not, like, mad at me, are you?” Eleanor asked. She wasn't sure why she cared, only a couple of months ago she had enjoyed antagonizing Tahani.

“No. I'm not cross with you. Just a little disappointed in myself, honestly.”

Eleanor tilted her head, waited, just listening.

“I didn't see how important this was to Chidi. I'm supposed to be his soulmate and yet you saw it instantly!”

A better person would know something reassuring to say, Eleanor thought, instead she led Tahani to the bench swing and sat down.

“Between you and me, hot stuff. I think all this soulmate talk is bullshirt.”

“How do you figure?” Tahani asked with the relieved look of someone who'd been contemplating the same thing. So maybe Eleanor got it right after all.

“Even if Jason and I were who Michael thinks we are, I am not sure the version of me who is a lawyer of the people would understand a man who chose to hide from human suffering up on a mountain or whatever.”

“I had assumed you and Jason were paired up because of whatever glitch sent you here in the first place,” Tahani sounded confident, but she was clearly still thinking.

“Okay, but, if you and Chidi are really soulmates don't you think you'd have agreed on adopting an afterlife baby?”

“I'm not against babies. I'm just...”

Eleanor waited again but when no further words seemed to be coming, she suggested, “Scared? Because your own parents were the absolute worst, so how can we possibly raise a baby?”

“Yes. Exactly. That.”

“Well, we all have each other. More importantly, we give a rat’s ash. And even if we're absolutely terrible, we can't kill her, she hasn't been born yet.”

That got Tahani to laugh. The sound was unabashed and loud in contrast to the quiet of the night. It trailed off as the two of them kept swaying back and forth.

Tahani took her hand, and Eleanor squeezed it. “It's going to be okay,” Eleanor promised.

***

And for nearly three whole weeks, everything was better than okay. They fell into a routine, centered around Ijemma. Tahani found her groove in meticulous baby fashion selection and put her desire to talk to good use. If nothing else, Ijemma had plenty of auditory stimulation. Jason took lead on diaper changes, and Chidi volunteered to supervise naps. They divided up meal time and play time and who got up in the middle of the night. Eleanor really wondered how anyone on earth got by on only two parents because she couldn't imagine doing this without any of the rest of them.

Eleanor ended up with bathtime as her parenting task. Watching Ijemma splish-splash gleefully in the water, her tiny baby giggle ringing off the walls was worth the work. And that new baby smell coming off Ijemma's freshly-washed hair pouf was even better than amusement park barf or public pool chlorine.

They were all gathered together at the creepy clown cottage when Michael stopped by and ruined everything.

“Chidi, Eleanor, Jason, Tahani, glad I caught all of you at once,” he said, as he poked his head in the open door. “Great news. Your baby is ready to be born down on Earth. The neighborhood is having a birthday party tonight to celebrate. Get it, Birth Day?”

Michael chuckled at his own joke but none of the rest of them found it at all funny.

Tahani recovered first, turning to face Michael. “We’ll do our best to put in an appearance. Thank you for the invitation.”

Michael didn't likely notice, but the words are just a fraction tight. He walked away, whistling the first few bars of “Happy Birthday to You”.

“We always knew this would be temporary. It's right in her name,” Eleanor said, once Michael had gone. Then she fled from the room. Chidi passed Ijemma over to Jason and followed after Eleanor.

“It’s okay to be upset,” Chidi said as he reached her. “I'm upset too.”

Eleanor loudly blew her nose. When she spoke, her words were distorted from forcing themselves past the lump in her throat. “What? No lecture about how it’s our duty to give her to her actual parents, and let her go on to the next phase of her journey?”

“That _is_ true. But I'm not here to tell you anything you already know. Right now, the four of us are all going to say our goodbyes and then try to enjoy Ijemma's last day in The Good Pl-”

Tahani interrupted with a sharp “No!” before Chidi could finish the word. She walked into the bedroom, the click of her heels thunderous in the quiet that followed. “This cannot be Ijemma's last day in The Good Place because no place worthy of the name would break up our family!”

The three of them exchanged looks. It felt exceedingly obvious now. Of course, this was The Bad Place. What was less obvious, to Eleanor at least, was that Ijemma had made them a family. Weren't families supposed to suck?

Before Eleanor could contemplate that too deeply, “Shirt!” Jason called loudly from the next room. With him that could mean the curse for unrelated reasons, a fuller-than-average diaper, or an actual shirt-related problem.

“Okay.” Eleanor said, as she swung herself up into a seated position and swiped furiously at her eyes. “First, we deal with whatever that is.”

“And then?” Chidi asked.

“Then, we fight for our family which somehow doesn't suck,” Eleanor replied.

“We need a better sounding plan,” Chidi said.

“Oh most definitely,” agreed Tahani.

Eleanor sighed. “All right, fine. Help Jason, find a new slogan, keep our family together.”

“For family!” They cheered and charged on with their half-baked plan.


End file.
